October 6, 2012

Things I'm not debating or arguing about anymore

I’m not going to discuss these things anymore:

  • Whether or not racism exists
  • Whether or not people of color can be racist against White people
  • Whether people of color being prejudiced against White people is on par with White people’s prejudice against people of color
  • Whether or not sexism exists
  • Whether women can be sexist against men
  • Whether misandry is on par with misogyny
  • Whether or not homophobia exists
  • Whether or not LGBTQ people calling straight folks “breeders” is as bad as what straight people say and do to LGBTQ people
  • Whether trans women are women, trans men are men, or the existence of other genders
  • Whether or not transphobia exists
  • Whether or not “die cis scum” is as bad as what cis people say and do to trans people
  • Whether or not ableism exists
  • Whether or not classism exist
  • Anybody’s intent not to be racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, ableist, etc.
  • Any information regurgitated from a dictionary or thesaurus
  • Anything involving flies, honey, or vinegar when discussing the ways people express their experiences with systemic oppression
  • Any variation of an opinion that states or implies that people on the receiving end of *-isms are crazy (disconnected from reality), stupid (incapable of analyzing their own experiences), or evil (motivated primarily by hate, anger, greed, etc.)

At this point, everything about these things that needs to be said has been said, and all arguments to the contrary are neither insightful, meaningful, correct, nor interesting.

So I’m not doing it anymore.

As for things I would talk about, here are a few:

  • How fucked up dynamics play out in individual lives
  • The ways that words, attitudes, beliefs, and actions act against play into fucked up dynamics despite our best intentions
  • How fucked up dynamics play into what we determine to be beautiful, true, and good
  • Ways we can challenge and subvert fucked up dynamics in our everyday lives
  • Resources for detoxing our minds and spirits from the poison we ingest without knowing it

That sort of shit right there? I can talk about that all day long. That's what I want to talk about all day long. I can get somewhere with those conversations. I can feed my soul with real talk about this sort of stuff.

And you know what's funny? None of these discussions requires anybody to have done any specialized study on these things. Just an awareness that there are things about many lives that we don't see because we don't have to and a willingness to learn more about what we don't understand. In cases where I have a privilege that others don't, I've been amazed at how patient and gracious people are with me when I simply listen and accept their truth as their truth instead of dismissing or denying it just because it doesn't mesh with what I think should be true about their lives.

Really, it's that fucking simple.

1 comment:

  1. "Ways we can challenge and subvert fucked up dynamics in our everyday lives
    "Resources for detoxing our minds and spirits from the poison we ingest without knowing it"

    I'd like to see whatever you might be willing to post about those ways and those resources. What you've learned, yourself, and also if you've know any place where people are exchanging ideas and experiences on those topics. Also any other practical ideas and experiences you have about changing our own habits and reflexes, including mental and emotional ones.