October 19, 2010

a brief encounter - a true story

SCENE: Lobby of the Public Theater. Night.

ME: I came just to see you.
HER: Oh that's so sweet.
ME: Please don't be mad. I wrote a play about you.
HER: You wrote a play about me!?!?!?!
ME: Pleasedon'tbemad. There' some stuffinitthat'suhsensitivebecauseit'spersonalandum. About race and you say some things but I don't think you're a racist bigot or anything.
HER: I'm a racist bigot?
ME: Nonono. I'm not saying that at all! (Showing her the program).
HER: Waitaminute! I think a friend of mine was in this.
ME: Huh what who? Did she do set design or -
HER: No, no. She was an actor. Her name was Meredith or Elizabeth or -
ME: That doesn't sound - You already knew? Um. Sorry. Really nervous. Uh. Here. (giving her sheet)
HER: Oh, sure. Is this to RVCBard [not the name I used]? (Writing carefully)
ME: Yeah it's me. Uh here I almost forgot. For you. (giving her my letter and an invitation) Uh. Thanks. Bye. (skipping away with hearts and stars and unicorns floating around my head)

I swear, I am not a racist bigot - and I have no idea what "I" say in this play but RVCBard [not the name I used]seems sweet and lovely.<3
Anne Hathaway


  1. I love her in Brokeback Mountain when she's middle aged with bleach blond hair and smoking while she talks on the phone. Glamour!

  2. @josh:

    I know, right!

    Anyway, as you can tell by now, I will do my part to make sure that this woman always has work.

    "Hey, Anne! I wrote another play about you! And this time you're my weed dealer!!!"

    /zooms back to Cloud 50

  3. This is for real?!?

    BTW, an anti-racist white caucus group at my church wants to read your play.

  4. @Aaron:

    Send them my way: rvcbard[at]gmail[dot]com.

  5. @Aaron:

    And yes, it's for real.

  6. That's awesome! I will send along your contact info.

  7. Um... totally awesome. Yup. Awesome.