And if you thought corporate America was a cesspool of head-up-the-ass privilege and soul-crushing oppression, you haven't seen the depths to which fandom can go. At least corporate America has the decency to lie about not being sexist, racist, homophobic, transphobic, and full of class elitism. At least you could say that in corporate America, it's all about the Almighty Dollar and the Bottom Line, so you can kind of sweep all the shit they do under that particular Umbrella of Evil.
But fandom - oh, man! Not only are people not making any money off fandom (so have less excuse to put people through that shit), but oftentimes the whole point of the way they indulge in fucked up oppressive dynamics is part of the fun. It's not like gangs where the different oppressions keep to their turf for the most part: racism over here, sexism over there, homophobia and transphobia a few blocks down, ableism by corner. Oh, no! It's not that fucking nice! Those fuckers hang out in clusters. When you see racism, you can bet your ass that sexism (fuck it - let's just say misogyny) is on its way. If you get a glimpse of trans fail, you may as well don your anti-homophobia suit because the anti-queer shit is right around the corner. And despite its "handicap," the ableist train is never late.
And the most fucked-up Jedi mind trick in all this is that no matter how clearly you can see it and point it out and explain it . . .
- They didn't mean to, so it doesn't count
- You weren't polite about it, so it doesn't count
- There are More Important Things To Talk About, so it doesn't count
- You're obviously paranoid (aka "sensitive"), so it doesn't count
- They never heard it before, so it doesn't count
- You didn't cite your sources, so it doesn't count
And even when it does count, you bring it on yourself by . . .
- Dressing like that
- Talking about that
- Thinking about that so much
Don't you know? It's far more important that you don't harsh the squee than it is for you to feel included like other human beings.