I'm gonna save up my pennies to go see Vampire Cowboys' Alice in Slasherland. Why? Because it's fucking Alice in Slasherland, that's why. It's like asking "Why Frank Sinatra?" Because it's fucking Frank Sinatra!. Do you really need any other reason?
After this serious turn with Anne&Me is over, I'm gonna see about writing a D&D game as a script using genre-savvy characters. Or my personal favorite - a horror story for smart people. Imagine:
SCENE: Woods. Late night.
CAMPER 1: What's the name of this place again?
CAMPER 2: Crystal Lake.
CAMPER 1: Why does that sound f - hey, ain't this where all those people got cut up?
CAMPER 2: Yeah, but it was a long time ago. Hey, where you going?
CAMPER 1: Home. I'll just watch Animal Planet or something.
SCENE: Big-assed house in upstate New York.
1ST HALF OF LOVELY YOUNG COUPLE: This is so cool! And it's only $2,000. This is amazing!
2ND HALF OF LOVELY YOUNG COUPLE: Yeah, and in this economy with our credit score.
1ST HALF OF LOVELY YOUNG COUPLE: I know!
2ND HALF OF LOVELY YOUNG COUPLE: Too bad we can't stay.
SCARY VOICE: (Whispering) Get. Out.
1ST HALF OF LOVELY YOUNG COUPLE: I heard the South Bronx is really nice this time of year.
2ND HALF OF LOVELY YOUNG COUPLE: If we sell one of the kids I think we could scrape by in Williamsburg.
Or maybe something like . . .