Red Riding Hood (a scene)

We are the vermin living between the cracks and crevices of grandmother's house. We watch as . . .

The wolf enters dressed in granny's nightclothes. It practices its grandmother schtick - all slow, achy steps with strategic coughs. It takes a few tries, but the wolf gradually assumes an eerily accurate portrayal of a sick old woman.

Red Riding Hood enters. She takes in the sight of her sick "grandmother." She rushes to help. She gently ushers "granny" to bed, easing her down with almost maternal tenderness then covers "granny" with a blanket.

Red Riding Hood takes a good long look at her "grandmother." The wolf looks back with devouring eyes before it yawns and kicks off grandmother's slippers. Red Riding Hood kicks off her shoes.

The wolf slips off grandmother's cap (or head scarf). Red Riding Hood slips off her cloak.

The wolf peels off grandmother's nightgown. Red Riding Hood peels off her dress.

The wolf holds up the blanket, inviting . . .

Red Riding Hood hesitates. The wolf gives her more room.

Red Riding Hood slides into bed. She traces the wolf's brows - what big eyes. The wolf stares openly - all the better to see her with.

Red Riding Hood feels the wolf's ears - what big ears. The wolf listens to Red Riding Hood's heartbeat - all the better to hear her with.

Red Riding Hood examines the wolf's hands - what big hands. The wolf holds her close, intimate and just shy of crushing. All the better to hold her with.

Red Riding Hood loosely embraces the wolf. The wolf strokes Red Riding Hood's skin, coaxing her to relax. Red Riding Hood snuggles into the wolf's arms. The wolf sniffs Red Riding Hood then tastes her with a long lick along her neck, shoulders, chest.

Red Riding Hood startles and shoves the wolf away - what big teeth!

The wolf bares its fangs, snarls, and pounces. All the better to eat her with.

Darkness and a scream as Red Riding Hood is gobbled up.

I've been Fringing in NYC!

I volunteered for a few hours to get free tickets for a few shows at the FringeNYC. I might do a bit more this weekend just because the shows have been so cool. I managed to snag a theater-related job to pay the rent (see StageBuddy), and it seems things are looking good so far.

Now that I've seen a few Fringe shows, I'm starting to feel like I live in NYC, whereas before it seemed like I couldn't find anything to do. Speaking of FringeNYC, check out @lice in www.onderland if you haven't already. It's a real treat and similar to what I'm working on now - sorta.

I also purchased a few of my favorite drama books at a discount. Guess which ones they are (hint: I mentioned them on Parabasis).

Snow White (a scene)

We are the wedding guests. Servants walk around with trays of hors d'ouerves and drinks. There may even be a pristine white wedding cake.

Snow White and her prince preside over the celebration, young and beautiful and happy - for now. The prince parades his bride around, greeting us, tanking us for coming, asking if we'd tried this or that.

Everyone finds their seat when Snow White waves in the entertainment.

Servants drag the queen into the party and shove her to the ground.

Stripped of her dignity - perhaps even her clothes - she looks like a striking yet harmless old woman. Snow White chuckles. Everyone boos, hisses, and jeers. The queen does her best to shield herself from the onslaught of insults, food, and spit.

Silence.

A servant enters bearing a gift box which is open with great ceremony, revealing a pair of apple red shoes, the queen's shoes.

As soon as she sees them, the queen struggles fiercely, but she can't escape. They get the shoes on her.

Silence.

Snow White claps, acting as a kind of metronome. Everyone joins in. "Dance! Dance! Dance!" we chant. The queen tries to resist, but the magic and the music are too strong. She begins to dance. She moves in perfect time, stepping and spinning, leaping and twirling. It's a schizophrenic display as her legs and feet move to the music while her upper body tries to resist.

Snow White chuckles.

The tempo gets faster. It's clear the dance pains the queen as she hisses, yelps, whimpers, and sobs with every step. Yet still she dances. Even as she tries to stop herself. Even as she tries to reach to us for help. She doesn't stop.

Snow White laughs.

Now the dance is a total frenzy. The queen moves with abandon as she is danced beyond reason, beyond control, beyond sanity. Snow White laughs. But the queen is still dancing, dancing, dancing . . .

Then she falls down dead.

Silence.

Snow White applauds ("Bravo!"). She and her prince share a chaste kiss.

Fringe NYC and other distractions

It seems I came to Brooklyn just in time. FringeNYC is underway, and apparently tickets are cheap. I'd like to get at least 5 shows in, but I can't afford it (especially since I'm not currently employed). :(

But how I want to go!

There's so much to choose from. If anybody's in NYC who's doing the Fringe and/or has extra tickets, let me know. Then again, I could show up early dressed in black and see where that takes me.

In other news, I've discovered a few places I really like. The first is St. Mark's Place between 1st and 2nd Avenue (Manhattan). Lots of restaurants with good food. The only problem is that the portions are huge, and I have to force myself to eat it all (generally to the point of wishing I hadn't). I've discovered that if I keep busy and drink enough water, I can easily stay full on 2 meals a day.

St. Mark's also has a used bookshop with a treasure trove of drama texts. I don't mean plays. I mean books about drama. I'm going to pick up "The Empty Space" and "Theater and Its Double" when I get a chance (maybe tomorrow; it depends).

If I ever go crazy enough to actually want to live in Manhattan, I hope I can find something close to St. Mark's.

Isaac showed me around the major parts of Boerum Hill. I really like that part of Brooklyn too. If I'm lucky, I'll be able to rent a room there before it gets completely gentrified.

And I have a question: Why does it seem like every time I go out it takes at least half an hour longer than HopStop says it should?

Things To Do NYC

If I'm moving to NYC, I don't want to get stuck into the same routine I can find here. When it comes to NYC, I always hear two things: it's the city that never sleeps, and you can find anything. I'm going to put that to the test. So, here's a list of things I want to do within my first six months to a year in NYC.

1. Find some all-night haunts.

I'm a night owl, and I tend to keep vampire hours. But I'm not crazy about bars. I just need a hole in the wall away from home where I can chill and write without being bothered.

2. Go to goth clubs.

I need a mix of the old and new: Bauhaus as well as Marilyn Manson. DIY goth wear as well as Hot Topic. Ghosts and faeries as well as vampires. See my pic? That's what I should feel comfortable looking like there.

3. Visit a rave.

I want to lose myself in digital music. I don't even need glow sticks. And the DJ had better be kick-ass. If everything sounds the same (and I'll know), I'm gonna be pissed.

4. Get involved in some avant-garde theater productions.

Not as an usher, and not at the box office. I want to put the actual show on. Whether that means being a gopher on the set and/or helping strike, so be it. But I don't want to just take money or show people to their seats.

5. Find a playwrights' group/support group.

I'm an artist. Sensitivity is my birthright. I need groupies/moral supporters to help keep me on track instead of getting lost in (shudder) work. It's also cheaper and more fun than therapy.

6. Work someplace really interesting.

Like a sex museum. Or a "haunted" mansion. Or something. Basically, I want people to choke on their drinks when I tell them, and I want to have to lie to my parents about what I do for a living. No, not a stripper. But I would be interested in conceptualizing a burlesque sort of Cirque du Soleil performance.

7. Make friends with rich people*.

It's not what you think. I'm not looking for a back door into wealth. But I've been around broke people my whole life. So I know how to handle hardship. It's handling success that's going to be a problem. I'd like to know how to do that before learning the hard way who my real friends are.

*I define rich here as someone who can afford to own two or more homes.

8. Share a kiss on the Brooklyn Bridge beneath the moonlight.

This one is hard to explain. So I won't.

9. Have a torrid love affair.

It may or may not lead to (ick!) marriage, but I could use some overwhelming passion in my life.

10. Go to a fetish ball.

Ever since I saw it on HBO's Real Sex series, I was hooked. Mystery, intimacy, ritual. It's all so . . . theatrical! Whips and chains and handcuffs! Leather boots and pants and collars! "Yes, Mistress!"