Meme: Shakespeare Character Most Like You

Here's a meme geared toward self-discovery (or rather, exposure - I'm all for exposure, whether decent or indecent).

What Shakespeare character is most like you? Why? You are TEH WIN if you provide a quote.

I recently found out that I'm most like Beatrice. Apparently I have a wicked way with words, and I often don't know my own strength. It doesn't make me Miss Popular, but I sort of like knowing the power I wield over words (and hence, perceptions). Just don't provoke my bloodthirsty streak.

Anyway, here's a quote that can easily be said about me . . .

O, she misused me past the endurance of a block! An oak but with one green leaf on it would have answered her; my very visor began to assume life and scold with her. She told me, not thinking I had been myself, that I was the Prince's jester, that I was duller than a great thaw; huddling jest upon jest with such impossible conveyance upon me that I stood like a man at a mark, with a whole army shooting at me. She speaks poniards, and every word stabs. If her breath were as terrible as her terminations, there were no living near her; she would infect the North Star. I would not marry her though she were endowed with all that Adam had left him before he transgressed. She would have made Hercules have turned spit, yea, and have cleft his club to make the fire too. Come, talk not of her. You shall find her the infernal Ate in good apparel. I would to God some scholar would conjure her, for certainly, while she is here, a man may live as quiet in hell as in a sanctuary; and people sin upon purpose, because they would go thither; so indeed all disquiet, horror, and perturbation follows her.

Now if only I had some princes, dukes, and whatnot to hook me up with a Benedick.

More Strange Things About RVCBard

I know I was only supposed to list 7 things, but here are some more:

I "discovered" algebra when I was in 5th grade.

I was doing some kind of math problem, and instead of doing it the way the teacher told me to (too slow and completely inefficient), I used variables for solving the problems. But instead of x, I used a simple question mark.

To this day I've excelled at more abstract, complex stuff and struggled with rudimentary basics. For instance, I did better in trigonometry than algebra or geometry, and better at calculus than at trig. Not sure why.

I was in the gifted program.

Between 5th and 8th grade, I was part of the gifted program at school. Keep in mind that this was a relatively conservative, partly rural district on the outskirts of Richmond, Virginia. If I was so smart even these provincial White people had to recognize it, I often wonder if the true extent of my abilities has been hidden or at least downplayed by myself and the world around me (including the educational system). Probably has, and it's a struggle not to be bitter about it when considering my lack of worldly success.

7 Strange Things about RVCBard

Matt Freeman tagged me for the 7 Strange Things meme, so if this is Too Much Information, it's all his fault.

1. I have dreams about dead people and the future.

Yes, to the skeptic a lot of shit's just unavoidable, but my dreams are often pretty specific. I generally know the person(s) involved and the context under which the events happen. For instance, right before the first time I went to China, I had a dream that my dad (who has systemic lupus) was hospitalized for a related illness while I was there, and I was rushing around trying to get a plane ticket to go home but no one would help me. After I got back, my mother told me that my dad was hospitalized for a lupus-related episode that probably could've killed him.

I often dream about dead people or people who die in my dreams. The death dreams usually focus on members of my family, and they often creep me out because I'd have no reason to suspect they would die soon. I had a dream of my paternal grandfather that involved him giving me a cherry red bicycle (I think I was about 9 or 10 in the dream), and I remember asking him if he's the same grandpa who died, to which he flat-out says, "Yes."

As a corollary to that, from time to time a song gets stuck in my head and later on I hear it somewhere. No, not stuff they play all the time on the radio (I don't even listen to radio nowadays). Not stuff where I expect it to happen (like I'll think about a disco song and go to a disco club and hear it). Just completely out of the blue. What sucks about it is that it's a rarely a song I actually like.

2. I'm double-jointed in my thumbs.

3. I play (and design) tabletop role-playing games.

And not just the mainstream shit like D&D and World of Darkness. I have quite a few indie/experimental/fringe games that I'd really like to play. I even made one called Kathanaksaya that was a hit with my gaming group back in Richmond.

I used to have an extensive collection of stuff, and I've done a Great RPG Purge at least twice for store credit or cash at the local gaming store. But I kept the good non-mainstream stuff.

4. I loathe purses.

I really, really hate them! I don't like having them or carrying them. I'm sure I'd seem more feminine if I had one full of a bunch of crap I don't need (like makeup and shit), but I refuse to sacrifice comfort for appearances. Do you know how fucking heavy purses can get? For all that, I can carry a backpack, which I do.

5. I have a terrible bug phobia.

Roaches, praying mantises, cicadas and other big bugs (ie - anything bigger than a bee) terrify the fuck out of me. It's really bad. I can't even stand being in the same room with one of these suckers, alive or dead (Who are we kidding? They're never dead. They just play dead). I only kill them because that makes sure they won't crawl on me. I can barely move, and if they come near me I'll run away as far as I can. If I can't run, or if the fuckers touch me, it's over. Really. It's pretty traumatic for me.

Spiders are OK, though. I don't care if they're poisonous. I don't care if they are poisonous. I'd sleep with a black widow in the room before I would a cockroach.

I know what you're thinking, "Why the fuck did you move to New York?"

Because New York roaches aren't Florida roaches. New York roaches have the good manners to run when you cut the lights on. Florida roaches fucking attack.

6. I have an active and overcharged erotic imagination.

Especially around my period. For some reason they often involve hardcore gay sex, incest, or sometimes animals (or part-animals, like this guy).

It's no secret that I'm a kinky pansexual pervert who could've been a temple prostitute in a former life. But still.

7. Sex motivates me to learn.

I took up Chinese because I was deeply in lust with Jet Li. I went more deeply into Judaism because sexual pleasure is the woman's right instead of the man's. I'm almost a lot more interested in veganism because I heard meat makes your stuff taste nasty (and Anne Hathaway being somewhat vegan doesn't hurt either).

I'm passing some Chocolate Salty Balls to Isaac, Devilvet, and Laura. And if you don't do it, you have to pull your pants down, stand on your head, and tell everybody that you're a big, fat, naked chicken!