October 6, 2010

on ticket pricing (now with ninjas)

With the back and forth between 2amt and Parabasis going on, I suppose the discussion about ticket pricing is now officially an Important Topic, so I did some reading and now feel comfortable enough to jump in.

People had a lot of thoughtful commentary about pricing models and artistic vision and blah blah blah. But none of them mentioned the most essential element of ticket pricing.


I know what you're thinking. What the fuck kind of non-sequitur is this, RVCBard? C'mon, we're discussing Something Really Serious And Important, and all you can say is fucking ninjas?

Let me ask you something. When was the last time you saw a ninja at your show? Exactly! You're not supposed to see them because they're doing what ninjas do best - remain invisible.

Guys, you're missing out on a tremendous opportunity here. Do you know how many ninjas can fit inside a 30-seat black box theatre? Lots. Especially under the seats and on the ceiling. I know because they sent me secret messages telling me so. You know what else they tell me? That they've been watching you very closely. And when you do something they don't like, they use the deadly art of ninjutsu to kill audience members to prevent them from seeing your show. So that's where the shuriken and dead bodies are coming from.

So, theatre blogosphere: WHERE ARE YOUR NINJAS?


  1. All of COItc's productions, podcasts, and blog entries are ninja-approved.

  2. Did you receive coded messages, or was it the lack of dead bodies that clued you in?